Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated

While rumours circulate the Internet on newsgroups and mailing lists that I have been killed in an accident involving a Ferrari, requests have appeared for a confirmation of my death.

Sorry, no, I'm not dead. I don't wreck cars or myself.

Not to mention that I don't have a Ferrari.

No, wait, that was John Romero. Er. Yeah. Anyway.

WHAT THE FUCK HAS BEEN UP YOU WHORE?!

The short version: I decided that I really, really, really wanted to pass all my courses this semester and not get kicked out of school.

The long version: ... will be posted when I finally get around to finishing typesetting episode 5.